the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
