A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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