she was so not down for the gang bang
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize