Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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