I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
