Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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