I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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