Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's shark week go big or go home
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
