I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
