I love black thongs
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it glows. i had to have it.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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