Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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