the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
