she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
