He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
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I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
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If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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