There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
