Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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