the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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