I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
