evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I think I just sharted jello shots
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize