Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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