i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize