i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
