the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
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