I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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