he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
