I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
