I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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