Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
