He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
