shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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