Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
