I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
