I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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