he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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