i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
