I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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