I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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