Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
