I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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