You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
