scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
