why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
