Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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