we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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