i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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