Do you still have your period?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
