terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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