Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize