i may or may not be watching the land before time
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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