Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
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I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
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so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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