Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
pray to the hookup gods
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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