Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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