I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
