I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
