mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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