I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
