That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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