i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
