you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
where am i from again
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
