i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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