he wants to bone in the snuggie
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
