their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I bet he comes in French.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
